ramblings..

Once i first see those 2 little lines on the DIY pregnancy test ( it was in a clinic though)…back in 2007, my mind tried to absorb the act that i m going to be a mother…a mother! whether this was planned or a surprise( it was a huuuuge surprise back then), i knew that i was in for a big change..
having a child does change my life regardless somehow here and there, and  of what anyone with experienced preaches or says. honestly no matter how much i tried to prepare for it, (and i was prepared) i don’t think i can fully comprehend and expect anything as planned until the baby is there…I REALIZED that once having a child meant more planning less spontaneity.. no more happening outside dinner anywhere it might be, no more perfect sleep, no more perfect hairdo and make up, no more time to myself..at least not much..everything s devoted for the baby…

regardless of those complaints…i DO REALIZED that  there s nothing sweeter than holding the baby in my arms..and the most intoxicating moment especially at midnite in those quiet moment when all you can hear is his little breath..i remember myself changed to be very protective..i remember i started to have this feeling that it s awsome when i knew that my child is dependent on me…

yes..my life does change once i have a child. i get to work on my patience. there are days that i get frustrated… . there are days I get more frustrated and even annoyed. there are days that being “needed” is a challenge. those are the days that i try to remember that this is a time in my life when i am developing my patience.

i m now a mum of 2 babies..i still missed my good night sleep, but that s okay,  i missed my single routine,but i don t give a damn to it.. i missed being a less-commitment person, but i never regret.. i can t help myself from being frustrated for not being able to be at home with the babies on my working saturdays…i can t help blaming myself for fetching them late from daycare, i regretted for not signed up at least a year off work…how i wish i could be a stay-at-home mother..







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